Why is it so hard to meditate?
It’s that time of year when all those shiny new New Year’s resolutions start to fade. Perhaps some of your resolutions were to exercise more, practice gratitude every day… or meditate.
If practicing meditation/mindfulness made it onto your 2022 goals list (I’m not a fan of resolutions but I am a big advocate for goal-setting), chances are you’ve tried it in the past and it’s helped. You may have read about the numerous mental and physical benefits of meditation and are now curious: Why is it not? It’s obvious that you know meditation is good for you, but you struggle to do it. This is not a common feeling. This is something that many people feel, including me. Why?
For many decades, meditation and mindfulness have been a popular topic in Western culture. The multifaceted benefits of meditation have been studied in fascinating detail. They can help with a variety of issues, including managing anxiety and depression . Most people are aware, even if not fully, of the many benefits of meditation.
There are studies showing an increase in people who claim to have meditated (in 2017 results, the Center for Health Statistics showed that this number rose from 4.1% in 2012 and 14.2% in 2017), but statistics on how many people still practice a regular meditation practice is harder to find.
My experience, as well as that of fellow meditators and colleagues, is that it can be difficult to maintain a consistent meditation practice. Since 2014, I have experienced both periods of consistent meditation and times when I stopped. This despite knowing its benefits for my well-being and fully understanding it.
Here’s the problem. It’s good for us. Science supports this. It is possible that we have felt the benefits of meditation in our own lives. I know I have. Why isn’t there more people meditating? What are the barriers that make it so difficult?
Recently, I polled my Instagram followers to find out if they have a regular meditation practice. Also, what obstacles keep them from practicing. The response rate was 37%, which is more than I expected. There were many responses, some of which were repeated by multiple people. Below is a selection of the responses.
What is it about doing what is so good for you that we have such difficulty? How can we overcome these barriers and get our tushy?
1. Meditation is difficult
It is difficult to sit with yourself without distraction, especially for people who are dealing with emotional or physical pain. Meditation requires courage. Meditation requires you to be open to any emotional pain, thoughts, or memories that might surface. You also need to notice, with far fewer distractions and as much as possible, any physical pain.
What is the antidote? Mental preparation and gentleness with yourself are the antidote. This barrier can be overcome by mentally preparing ourselves beforehand that meditation can, and often does, feel difficult. We may be more successful in creating a long-lasting practice if we have realistic expectations. This is done when we are preparing to tackle other difficult or taxing projects such as exercising or preparing to work on a large project. We don’t pretend that we are going to relax and levitate. Instead, we are ready for the long-term effort.
Similar to the previous step, we need to do this to create realistic meditation ideas, but always using gentleness as a cushion. You don’t have to sit down to meditate. It doesn’t even need to be for very long. By being more present, mindfulness can be applied to virtually any and all things you do. If the word meditation seems too intimidating or repelling, you can try using “mindfulness” instead.
Relaxing mentally is part of gentle mental preparation. You need to be reassuring and allow yourself to take care of your self should you experience any discomfort. Be flexible with yourself. This will help you to meditate. There is no right or wrong way to meditate (it is not prescribed that way), but it is important to practice self-compassion.
2. Your time is being challenged by competing demands
There are many demands on our time, which, if honest with ourselves, can be more tempting than we realize. If you have ever meditated, it is likely that you will be immersed in the thoughts of all the things that must be done once your practice is over. Just this morning , I was overwhelmed by the list of things that needed to be done. It can be frustrating to feel like we’re doing nothing, even though we know how much there is.
It can be difficult to justify and allow ourselves to spend time sitting and being , in an ever-busier life. Contrary to popular belief, meditation can sometimes be boring . Even though I have some interesting insights when I meditate, I find myself asking “When will this damn meditation end?” at least once per session. Then, there is a relief mental “hallelujah!” as the timer goes off.
What’s the solution?
Learn more about the benefits of meditation. Listen to science journals or podcasts that discuss the many benefits of meditation (I listen to both). Listening to the 10% Happier podcast more often, and hearing all about the scientific and interesting benefits of meditation, makes me more likely to meditate.
3. Many misinformations
These lies are still all around us, the many falsehoods about meditation. These are some of the many lies I hear about me: I am not a meditator. I don’t have ADHD so I cannot meditate. I don’t have time. I cannot sit still for so long. There are many false beliefs. These thoughts may have been something you thought of at one time or another.
While I don’t claim that there is any quick fix, but I want to provide you with accurate information about meditation. Anyone can meditate. You can meditate for any length of time. It doesn’t matter if you sit down or not. You can also practice informally as well as formal mindfulness. While you’re kneading bread dough or walking, mindfulness can be practiced. Although formal meditation is the best, informal meditation can be a good option.
We are more likely to make progress if we focus on what is holding you back. Let that sentence sink in. This principle can be applied to any activity, not only meditation. This is a topic for another day.
Take a moment to reflect on why you are having trouble with consistent practice. What can you do to fix it? Meditation is not for everyone. But it may very well be worthwhile to spend a moment pondering–meditating, if you will–about what is getting in your way. What can you do to overcome those obstacles?